letting go of my inner child

I’m 30 years old going on 5 years old.

Yes, I’ll admit it.

I don’t tell silly jokes or play tricks on people or even act like a child when outwardly interacting with people.

But I’ve acted like a 5 year old internally.


I’ve been living in fear.  The fear of failing, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not being loved.

And the fear has been paralyzing.

Stopping me from moving forward with many things, including this website.  I’m afraid no one will like it, or even care about it.

It’s stopped me from doing handstands in the middle of the room because I don’t want to get hurt.

It stopped me from quitting my job right away.

It stopped me from breaking up with a boyfriend of 4 1/2 years when I realized I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him any longer and prolonging the inevitable.

Deepak Chopra once wrote that we either gravitate towards pleasure or avoid pain in his book, Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire.  Fear is a way we stop ourselves from feeling pain.  Pain of the unknown.  Pain of failure.

With fear comes complacency.  I liken it to the “death of passion” and “death of living a joyful life.” 

I’ve been “working” on myself and healing my internal wounds for the last few years.  Today, I finally had a big breakthrough…the kick in the pants I needed.

My coach, Hillary, helped me channel my inner child – the 5 year old running my life.

The 5 year old was letting anything uncomfortable and confrontational stop her from moving forward. When the going got tough, she got going, dragging me with her.

As I reflected back on my life and to my relationship with my parents, I realized the adult me was not taking responsibility and allowing the 5 year old to make the choices.

The 5 year old me was saying “I can’t do this”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know enough”, “I don’t want to fail”.

The result? Inaction.  A paralysis.

With this new found realization, I can separate my 5 year old self from my adult self.  I can chose to take action from my adult self.  I am responsible for everything I choose to do, not do, say, not say.

I’m determined more than ever to make my dreams come true.

What about you?

What are your dreams?

What’s stopping you?

Is your inner child running the show?

Here are three ways to notice who’s running the show:

1)  Are you a) in action, b) complacent or procrastinating?

2) Is what your doing aligned with your vision / life’s purpose? a) yes, b) no

3) Do you love what you do? a) yes absolutely, b) no I dread it

**If you answered (a) to all the questions, your adult self is running the show.  If you answered (b) to all the questions above, your 5 year old self is running the show.  If there are a mixture of  (a) and (b) answers, then both are running the show depending on the circumstance.  Ask yourself these questions for a particular circumstance and see which one of you is in charge. 

*Photo Credits: Tantrum


About the JOY Coach

Minling Chuang

Minling is the founder of {the JOY depot} and is on a mission to help new entrepreneurs start their dream business. She spent many years working on branding strategies for top brands like Lean Cuisine & Nestle Toll House and launching multimillion dollar products. Now Minling's passion is to help people create profitable businesses they love! She is also a Kundalini Yoga teacher in Venice, CA. Like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter. And if you want to start your own business, book a clarity session with Minling.

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