the secret to happiness is…our words

This is it!  Look no further for the secret to happiness.

Words are powerful.  More powerful than we think.

Words create our worlds – our realities.

Growing up, I didn’t understand this concept.  Truthfully, I gave it no thought at all.

I wasn’t conscious of what came out of my mouth.  I just let if flow, especially when I was angry.  I couldn’t stop the words from spewing out of my mouth.  It was like a runaway train flying by the train station before the conductor had a chance to hit the brake.

When I was growing up, the train flew by the train station many times, especially when it came to interacting with my parents.  We fought a lot and our fights always turned into screaming matches.  Inevitably, I’d always yell, “I hate you!!!!” or “I wish you weren’t my parents” before running up to my room fuming about the injustice they caused in my life.

Lovely right? (note the sarcasm)

But sad to say, my careless ways with words extended beyond fights with my parents and seeped into other areas of my life in the form of gossip.  I found gossiping therapeutic and pleasurable.  It made me feel better about myself when I talked about someone else and reveled in their misfortune, especially if I disliked or was jealous of the person.  I also found gossiping to be an easy way to bond with friends.  Talking about stories we’ve heard and contributing to the rumor mills.  Not my proudest moments, but it happened.

What I didn’t know though, I wasn’t just hurting the person I was yelling at or gossiping about, I was poisoning myself.

The Turning Point

In 2004, I heard about a movie called “What the bleep do we know?!” and decided to go see it.  The movie featured a study by Dr. Emoto, a Japanese scientist.

Dr. Emoto discovered that words and sounds have powerful effects on the water crystals.  He wrote various words on each bottle and exposed water to various types of music.  The water crystals reflected the words written or spoken in the music.  The ones surrounded by hateful words were often shriveled up, while the ones surrounded by uplifting words were bright and beautiful.

I’m not a scientist and have not done an extensive study on his work, but this study has made me re-think about what I say about myself and others.

Logically it makes sense to me.  When we think of different words (love, sadness, happy, depressed, etc), different emotions come up and our bodies react differently to the words.  Same with music.  When I listen to classical music vs. rap or heavy rock music my body feels different.  Can you imagine trying to relax at a spa and the salon blasting rap music?  Classical music calms me while rap music agitates me.

The Realization

Dr. Emoto’s study made a lasting impression in my mind.  I realized my words carried a lot of weight – that my words could change how I feel and how others feel.  It was the key to my reality and I wasn’t giving enough credit to the power of my words and thoughts.

I started to notice the words coming out of my mouth and the unspoken words in my mind.

What I found was startling.  I had a lot of negative words about myself stored in my head.  Words like “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t matter”, “I’m nobody”, “I’m not pretty enough”, “No one loves me” and more.

These words had a profound affect on my confidence and demeanor, even though I outwardly pretended everything was ok.  Physically, my shoulders were often slumped forward, closing my body, my heart to the world.  Emotionally, I was a wreck because I bought into these negative thoughts.  Because I believed I wasn’t good enough, my actions became a reflection of these thought.  This was until I decided to change my thought pattern.

I began practicing yoga and taking courses that challenged my old negative thought patterns.  I also began saying mantras, meditating, and chanting – pumping up the positivity as I like to say.

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed a profound difference in my happiness and the happiness of those around me.  My parents and I fight less now.  We have disagreements, but the fights never head into a fierce battle.  I don’t use the words “I hate you” anymore.

I am happier and calmer able to handle anything that comes at me.

I choose to surround myself with positive words, thoughts, and people.  I’m choosing what to believe and what not to believe.

And full disclosure, the negative thoughts still creep into my mind and sometimes accidentally comes out of my mouth.  It won’t ever go away, but I’ve learned not to honor those thoughts and to apologize for the misguided words.

Overall, I brought more joy to my life.  And you can too!  Just by using your words.

Here’s 5 ways you can also start creating your joyful world with your words:

1) Nourish yourself – We all need to be fed food to survive.  Like our bodies, our souls needs nourishment in the form of positive affirmations.  Choose a mantra, a saying, you can recite to yourself in the morning or whenever you feel down.  One I’ve used before is “I am loved”.  Feel free to use it too if it speaks to you.

2) Give gratitude – When we give gratitude, we remember all the good things in life.  You can read all thegratitude postings on {the JOY depot} or join the Gratitude Log.

3) Posify your surroundings – Surround your space with positive pictures and words.  Our eyes take in a lot of data each second.  Why not give it something positive to look at?  Find pictures that inspire you.  You can also print out the JOY sign and our manifesto.

4) Write little notes for yourself – We all love getting little love notes.  Why not write one for yourself (and maybe your partner or parents or kids)?  Once you finish writing them, hide the notes in various places (under the sink, in a drawer, etc).  Your notes will reveal themselves to you when you least expect it.  It’ll be a nice surprise, like randomly finding money you left in a pocket when you’re about to do laundry.

5) Read inspiring stories – Let’s face it, a lot of the news out in the world are negative and depressing.  Why be depressed after reading a story when you can be uplifted.  You can read some uplifting stories on {the JOY depot}.

*Photo Credits: WordsWater Crystals


About the JOY Coach

Minling Chuang

Minling is the founder of {the JOY depot} and is on a mission to help new entrepreneurs start their dream business. She spent many years working on branding strategies for top brands like Lean Cuisine & Nestle Toll House and launching multimillion dollar products. Now Minling's passion is to help people create profitable businesses they love! She is also a Kundalini Yoga teacher in Venice, CA. Like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter. And if you want to start your own business, book a clarity session with Minling.

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