Who’s loving you?

2013 - Who's taking care of you

Valentine’s Day is approaching fast, the nationally recognized Day of Love.

And if you are like many women you’ve already dropped hints to what you would like to receive or left circles on the barrage of advertisements that I’m sure is flooding your mailbox.

Men will undoubtedly spend $50 or more on a dozen roses than they could have purchased for $20 a week prior, all in seeking that feeling of warmth that will flood from your toes to your heart upon sight.

Admittedly men get the short end of the stick on this day.

If you are single, you spend this dreading that nagging feeling of loneliness, longing for the romance only seen on PG-13 chick flicks. You fantasize about the day you too can come home to a dozen roses and chocolates so you can run to your significant other, jump into their arms, and get spun around until you giggle with delight.

*record scratch*

Unfortunately, too many of us seek this type of feeling from outside sources. I contend that you aren’t deserving of such love until you can treat yourself with the same amount of care.

We’ve been conditioned to blame how we feel on outside influences; but the truth of the matter is, you control how you feel.
And if that is the case why not feel that way every day.

You should not wait until Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or any other holiday to feel wanted, loved, and appreciated.

Dealing with clients I often hear, “But he doesn’t appreciate me” or “I don’t feel loved.”

What I gather from those statements is this..

You do not appreciate or love yourself; because if you did, you would hold yourself in higher regard and would not allow to treated any differently.

Now I’m not telling you to go to your spouse and layout some ultimatum, I’m just asking the simple question of “Who’s Loving You”.

The simple answer should be… YOU.

People will follow the framework you set forth without you having to say a word.

You receive what you put out there.

If you want to feel more loved, then love yourself first.

If you want to be appreciated, then appreciate yourself first.

You do not go to clean someone else’s house while yours is still a mess. You’d be a hypocrite.

Thusly, if you don’t love yourself, appreciate yourself or spend time to see what makes you happy no one can fill that gaping void.

The foundation to all those things lay inside you. Lay a decent foundation, and then others can build off of that to create a sturdy structure of love, appreciation, and happiness.

So if you fall into the category of seeking all these things from people other than yourself, you have homework. Answer the questions below honestly; either to yourself or for peer support put it in the comments section.

  1. When was the last time I did something simply because it would be fun for me?
  2. What can I do to show myself love and respect?
  3. How can I make time each day to appreciate my life and all I have?


Remember to answer the questions openly and honestly. If you aren’t honest with yourself; the only person you’re harming is you, nobody else cares. Get out of your own way.

This may be too strong of medicine for some to digest but it’s needed.

And just remember, no one else can affect your SELF-esteem except YOU; you are personally responsible for your happiness or unhappiness.

About the JOY Coach

Ty Johnson-Anderson

Ty Johnson-Anderson is the founder of Liberated Motherhood. She is dubbed the emotional liberation and charisma specialist helping kick-ass women “get it together”. Ty aides in teaching self-love and personal rebranding; thus getting to the root of your issues and repositioning you to live a life more fulfilled and away from self-criticism and social competition. If you’re living YOUR truth, there is no competition. Join her team of vixens to get up to date straight to the point information on living your life the way you want.

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