How to Let Go of Grudges and Be at Peace with Yourself

2013 - How to Let Go of Grudges and Be at Peace with Yourself

You ever think back to the old days, and the mere mention of someone’s name can tie your stomach in this knot that makes you physically sick?

How is it that someone’s name can illicit such an emotional response?

I know you’re saying, “But Jane was sooo mean to me.  She made my life a living hell back then.”

And I get it because I was on the receiving end of others horrible actions in my childhood.

But the fact of the matter is, they didn’t care then, and they don’t care now.

Holding a grudge against someone does nothing but hinder your progress.

You cannot see where you’re going if you are continually looking in the rear view mirror.

You can very well be justified to feel the way you do about that particular person, but what good has it done you up to this point?

While you’re meandering through your past, they are moving on with life, and paying no attention to you or your grudge against them.

Allowing yourself to be consumed by bad feelings for another person is counter-productive.

You have to move on. And you can do that by following the simple steps below:

How to Let Go of Grudges

  1. Take the high road. As cliché as it may sound, taking the high road is just about the most important step you can take to allow yourself to let go of grudges. Remember my Keep it S.E.X.Y mantra?  Use it here.  You want to Simple Exude the Best Example of Yourself at All Times.  If you want to be labeled a crazy chic that still worries over past issues then feel free to wallow.  If not then, make a conscious effort to not be conquered by the negativity.

  1. Assess how you’re being affected. If you really think about it, in the midst of your grudge, you’re likely being impacted negatively by holding on to the event which affected you. Think about it.  Did that person’s actions affect how you interact with others?  Did it lower your self-esteem? If it altered you in any way, why are you still harboring those feelings?  Let it go.  It’s doing you no good to remain in that space of negativity. You can say, “It’s the principle of it all,” but again the only person you are hurting is yourself.

  • Negative actions and feelings have a domino effect, and other aspects of your life will likely be affected if you dwell on something negative for too long.


  1. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It takes a lot of maturity to stop and consider how you would feel if you were in the other person’s shoes. It’s easy to say that they are at fault for being in the position they’re in, but what if you end up in that same position yourself one day?

  • Even if you still disagree with what they did, seeing the situation from their perspective can help you understand why they did what they did. Truly understanding their reasons often makes it easier for you forgive.

  1. Reason with your mind and not your emotions. One key thing that’s important to remember is that your mind and your feelings are completely different things! Your mind allows you to think, reason and create. Your emotions allow you to react. It’s important to avoid trying to think, reason and create when engulfed in an emotional state.

Far too often women act out of emotion instead of reason.  A negative and a negative don’t always equal a positive, no matter what your Algebra teacher says.  Karma begets karma, so again keep it S.E.X.Y and keep it moving.

If you allow yourself just a little time to work at these suggestions, you’ll soon realize the positive impact they have on your life. Your state of being will automatically be adjusted for the better, and it will be easy to let go of negative feelings in exchange for a healthier, happier and more loving life.

Learn to love and let go.  Move on with positivity in mind.  Unleash those negative emotions and invite love in.

About the JOY Coach

Ty Johnson-Anderson

Ty Johnson-Anderson is the founder of Liberated Motherhood. She is dubbed the emotional liberation and charisma specialist helping kick-ass women “get it together”. Ty aides in teaching self-love and personal rebranding; thus getting to the root of your issues and repositioning you to live a life more fulfilled and away from self-criticism and social competition. If you’re living YOUR truth, there is no competition. Join her team of vixens to get up to date straight to the point information on living your life the way you want.

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